I started to realise that couple life wasn't actually a bind, and was quite good really.
To be honest, the fairy tale of it all was not so much the issue as it all just kind of happened!
One thing leads to another, and before you know it, you're living together, buying a house, and doing all these joint things.
I no longer exist.
Adam isn't available to take your call right now, but adamand**** will be right with you.
Adamand - I'm now a joint entity, the result of two colliding universes, which surely would create a super-universe according to logic. What actually happened is it created a bubble. Which slowly became a vacuum.
Synopsis goes that he changed, became abusive and violent, and took away large parts of me.
Some emotional control happened, some attempting to ignore the obvious occurred, and 7 1/2 years later, and six months into my Australian adventure, I'm single, on the other side of the world, and have no friends or family with me other then the three people who I had somehow managed to make a part of it (thanks guys, you know who you are!).
Selling the house didn't happen so easily, the emails went on, and my head didn't stop spinning.
WHO THE HELL AM I NOW?!
what do I like doing?
Even though this person put me through hell, it's like part of me is no longer.
Yes I'm relived as the fog lifts and I take the blindfold off and look back on the last years of my life that quite frankly felt like Hiroshima looked a little untidy after the bomb hit in comparison to the devastating destruction that I had come to know as a constant for so long.
Oh and I'm the bad guy, because I broke up with him.
The bad guy? why is there a bad guy?
I'm past the point of caring.
Life goes on, adapt and survive.
To be totally honnest, I didnt go looking for love, or a boyfriend, it just sort of happened.
Parts of me wish it didn't, or at least happened differently.
As a very wise friend told me two days ago, the past doesn't exist. In the literal sense of the word, only the present can exist.
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