I started to realise that couple life wasn't actually a bind, and was quite good really.
To be honest, the fairy tale of it all was not so much the issue as it all just kind of happened!
One thing leads to another, and before you know it, you're living together, buying a house, and doing all these joint things.
I no longer exist.
Adam isn't available to take your call right now, but adamand**** will be right with you.
Adamand - I'm now a joint entity, the result of two colliding universes, which surely would create a super-universe according to logic. What actually happened is it created a bubble. Which slowly became a vacuum.
Synopsis goes that he changed, became abusive and violent, and took away large parts of me.
Some emotional control happened, some attempting to ignore the obvious occurred, and 7 1/2 years later, and six months into my Australian adventure, I'm single, on the other side of the world, and have no friends or family with me other then the three people who I had somehow managed to make a part of it (thanks guys, you know who you are!).
Selling the house didn't happen so easily, the emails went on, and my head didn't stop spinning.
WHO THE HELL AM I NOW?!
what do I like doing?
Even though this person put me through hell, it's like part of me is no longer.
Yes I'm relived as the fog lifts and I take the blindfold off and look back on the last years of my life that quite frankly felt like Hiroshima looked a little untidy after the bomb hit in comparison to the devastating destruction that I had come to know as a constant for so long.
Oh and I'm the bad guy, because I broke up with him.
The bad guy? why is there a bad guy?
I'm past the point of caring.
Life goes on, adapt and survive.
To be totally honnest, I didnt go looking for love, or a boyfriend, it just sort of happened.
Parts of me wish it didn't, or at least happened differently.
As a very wise friend told me two days ago, the past doesn't exist. In the literal sense of the word, only the present can exist.
Friday, 16 May 2014
Everyone else is doing it...
OK, so before Uni, I was a whore, but early university and everyone I knew had a proper relationship.
The truth is that yes, sometimes I'm a cold heartless bitch, but for the most part, I'm warm and fuzzy. So I though I'd try this boyfriend thing.
Essentially, I'd moved away to go to Uni and part of the reason was to find new men, and not have that awkward moment of "is this going to end up in De Ja Vu"? (i.e. do I "know" you?!).
So first guy I meet and that's it, boyfriend ahoy!
7 years older, not in the greatest of shapes but not too bad, cannt stop thinking I'm awesome, this one will do nicely.
The truth is that yes, sometimes I'm a cold heartless bitch, but for the most part, I'm warm and fuzzy. So I though I'd try this boyfriend thing.
Essentially, I'd moved away to go to Uni and part of the reason was to find new men, and not have that awkward moment of "is this going to end up in De Ja Vu"? (i.e. do I "know" you?!).
So first guy I meet and that's it, boyfriend ahoy!
7 years older, not in the greatest of shapes but not too bad, cannt stop thinking I'm awesome, this one will do nicely.
Way back when...
11 years ago, I was 17. Like most men at that age, I wasn't too bothered exactly who I went home with, it was more the fact that taxis cost as much as another couple of drinks.
Quite simply, I was a whore, any man who was interested / drunk / high was my plan for the night. Names and faces were irrelevant. Just because you bought me a drink doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you, the fact that I'm 17 probably did!
So countless meaningless encounters happened for a while and meant that I got into "situations" in all sorts of places with all sorts of people.
I was young and cute, and people wanted me.
And I loved it.
Every Second.
I could have my pick of any man I wanted, and the thought of "something more" was non-existant. Infact the only time the "B" (boyfriend) word came into my head was when I saw all these sad dirty lonely old men with a bought Thai bride on their arm. Long-term prostitution in exchange for a visa.
I didn't need A man in my life, because as far as I was concerned, I could have EVERY man in my life!
Quite simply, I was a whore, any man who was interested / drunk / high was my plan for the night. Names and faces were irrelevant. Just because you bought me a drink doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you, the fact that I'm 17 probably did!
So countless meaningless encounters happened for a while and meant that I got into "situations" in all sorts of places with all sorts of people.
I was young and cute, and people wanted me.
And I loved it.
Every Second.
I could have my pick of any man I wanted, and the thought of "something more" was non-existant. Infact the only time the "B" (boyfriend) word came into my head was when I saw all these sad dirty lonely old men with a bought Thai bride on their arm. Long-term prostitution in exchange for a visa.
I didn't need A man in my life, because as far as I was concerned, I could have EVERY man in my life!
So who and why?
Well I'm Adam, I'm a twenty-something year old gay man living in Brisbane, originally from the UK. I moved to Australia almost 4 years ago, and have decided to share with the world the epic stories I encounter as just a part of my amazing ability to be a shit magnet!
Centred around my love life and epic adventures of the dating world, read on and watch me as I kick Kerry Brashaw and Bridget Jones' ass at the art of what the hell was I thinking?!
Centred around my love life and epic adventures of the dating world, read on and watch me as I kick Kerry Brashaw and Bridget Jones' ass at the art of what the hell was I thinking?!
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